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Madame Languida
Madame Languida is the widow of a motorcycle taxi driver, who was a member of ASSETAMORWA in Rwanda. She tested positive for HIV in September 2004.

Who do you think is most responsible for propagating AIDS? Drivers or their wives?

I think that it’s the drivers, especially those who drive the big lorries, when they have to spend the night away from their family.

Is having to spend the night away from the family sufficient reason for having sex with another woman?

You will have to ask the men. Our culture encourages this through certain proverbs such as “you can’t stop a bull from wandering”.

What is the role of women in HIV/AIDS prevention?

My role as a widow is to educate my children to behave like Christians and avoid having sex before marriage.

What advice would you give to other women who have not yet plucked up the courage to get tested, or to declare publicly that they are ill?

First, you must get tested so you know your state of health, so you can then take steps to adjust your behaviour accordingly. Second, if you are HIV positive, you should regularly see a doctor and follow their advice. Third, you should be brave and speak up, because personal stories can convince a good number of people about the reality and seriousness of HIV/AIDS. Fourth if you are HIV-positive and are being prescribed anti-retrovirals, you must follow the medical prescription exactly, while you wait for other drugs to be discovered.

Nihobavuka Esperance
Nihobavuka Esperance is the widow of a truck driver who died in 1994 and has been living with the HIV/AIDS virus for 15 years.

When did you realise you were infected?

In 1990 an organisation, the name I don’t remember, came to our sector to carry out free HIV tests. I was pregnant and, like many of my neighbours, I didn’t know what AIDS was. The priority was given to the pregnant women, but first they taught us about HIV/AIDS for about two hours.

What were the results and how did you react?

They gave me a piece of paper with a red cross inscribed on it. I immediately understood that I was infected. I felt as if my life had come to an end.

What did you do next?

When I got home I told my husband about it and he denied loudly and firmly, saying I might have contracted the virus from somewhere else. (Later he came to accept that he was the only one responsible.) That night I denied him sex and the next day I went to the nearest health centre to ask for advice. They gave me some condoms, which we used whenever he demanded sex. Early in 1994, my husband got seriously sick for two months and died.

How have you managed to cope with the virus after your husband’s death?

I joined a group for people living with HIV/AIDS, who comforted me through counselling and jokes. Volunteers from Germany assisted us for the first three years, and they provided anti-retroviral treatment to some of us. In 2002 our association linked up with Care Rwanda, and they provided more assistance to us. Through the support Care Rwanda, all my children are at school.

Interviews by Genevieve Mukandekezi, ITF HIV/AIDS project consultant for francophone countries.